I believe i suffered more than christ. i love life and i want to live, to cry but cannot - i feel such a pain in my soul - a pain which frightens me. my soul is ill. my soul, not my mind. the doctors do not understand my illness… everybody who reads these lines will suffer… my body is not ill, it is my soul that is ill.
my little girl is singing: ‘ah ah ah ah.’ i do not understand its meaning, but i feel what she wants to say. she wants to say that everything… is not horror, but joy