(via dethjunkie)
Making biscuits with Gordon Ramsay.
More you might like
Intelligent design is merely creationism under another name. Rechristened - I use the word advisedly.
Richard Dawkins (x)
THE HANDY GUIDE TO NOT RAPING PEOPLE IN SEVEN EASY STEPS
1. When you meet a girl who doesn’t want to have sex with you, don’t have sex with her.
2. When you meet a girl who wants to have sex with one of your friends, remember the golden rule: You Are A Different Person To Your Friends. Maybe this handy mnemonic can help: Yentl Acted As Ducks Probed Three Yucky Frenchmen. This will help you remember that a girl who wants to have sex with one person does not necessarily want to have sex with every person she meets. Confusing, I know; what can I say - political correctness, etc.
3. If you meet a girl who DOES want to have sex with you, but then a bit later she says she’d rather not, don’t have sex with her. Again, pretty confusing, I know, but it’s due to a special Scientific Fact: sometimes girls change their minds. Like, remember the time you wanted a kebab, but then you thought no, I’ll have a hamburger instead? It’s a bit like that, only with sex.
4. When you meet a girl who is unconscious, don’t have sex with her. This is true even if she was drinking before. I may be delving into some fairly arcane theory here, but scientists have discovered there is actually technically a difference between “drinking a lot of alcohol” and “saying yes I want to have sex with you”. I realise this difference is probably hard to spot for a lot of you guys; you might have to squint a bit.
5. When you go home with a girl, try not to have sex with her until after she says she’d like to.
6. Practise not having sex with people. I know it’s hard - sometimes you just look down and it’s like, whoops, I’m having sex with this girl, how did that happen? But I bet with a bit of concentration and discipline, you can actually manage to avoid having sex with someone, even when they’re in the same room as you. It’s true! Anyone can do it! Why, last week I met at least five women who I actually didn’t have sex with, without causing myself any particularly severe internal injuries.
7. When you meet a girl who doesn’t want to have sex with you, don’t have sex with her. I realise I already said this one, but that was five steps ago, and I have a feeling some of you guys might have slightly short attention spans.
Ben Pobjie: The Handy Guide to Not Raping People (via monkeytypist)
FP: now replace “girl” with “person” and you’re good to go.
(via feministpizza)
The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.
John Kenneth Galbraith (via rethinksocialism)
The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don’t have to waste your time voting.
Charles Bukowski
i love sitting on a sofa with one leg crossed over the other and my arms spread out across the headboard behind me like a young, reckless, 1920s gentleman of ambiguous sexuality, with more money than i know what to do with and an intense weariness of the shallow, hedonistic lifestyle enjoyed by my companions